RETURN TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME: The Haunting (1999)

"Okay, so why are we here? Probably to answer the most basic question: "What is wrong with you people?"

Truer words have never been spoken. This the first edition of Revisited. Some horrors for one reason or another, miss the mark for you on the first go around. You hear references every once in a while, and the movie pops into your head. So here we are.

There is an entity which haunts Hollywood. Not Hugh Crain, but we will call him the Bad Cinema Demon. Every once in a while, the BCD creeps in and systematically ruins good careers of people in Hollywood. The true story "Haunting" in question victimized acclaimed director Jan De Bont.

The year was around 1996. De Bont was king after directing 2 Hollywood classics, Speed and Twister. On one fateful night, the ominous neon smoke of BCD seeped in through the cracks in De Bont's windowpane and the possession had begun. What followed was the universally despised "Speed 2: Cruise Control". Ouch. 

After such an aggressive response, De Bont set his sights on his next big thing, a reimagining of Shirley Jackson's classic, and The Haunting was born. BCD has hit critical mass. Bold move on De Bont's part, as the original film is a bonefide classic. 

The film, while a commercial success, is riddled with issues. But let's get into the good things.

First, the set is absolutely magnificent. Majestic corridors, carvings of creepy children, and enormous creaking doors abound. The icing is a room which is one complete merry go round, complete with mirrors and creepy carnival music.

The casting is a 50/50. Liam Neeson and Catherine Zeta Jones are perfectly cast, as our mysterious host, and a dazzling socialite, respectively. Owen Wilson is an absolutely horrible choice for Luke. To Wilson's credit, he was a relative Newcomer to Hollywood at this point, but he misses almost every conceivable mark. 

Lili Taylor is given a rather complicated workload in the Nell role. The original film portrayed her as a sad, lonely sort. This one required Taylor to be sad, but feeling wonderment. Terrorized but wanting to remain in the house. Horrified but captivated. Angry but happy. It's a mess. Taylor absolutely crushes the flip flopping, but starts to falter when she is required to react to the cgi around her. Her screaming and physical acting is so forced and hammy, I feel like she did her harrowing performance in The Conjuring, just to prove she's the real deal, given the right material.

By the end of the film, she seemed so burnt out of acting with green screen, that her big lines are barely compelling.

The biggest problem is the amount of excess. It's such a Hollywood misconception to be bigger, but in horror, a little subtlety goes a long way. 

The film's early scare scenes are actually not bad. Nell and Theo cowering as a doorknob jiggles, and ominous sounds traveling across the room, and the camera following. But as the plot progresses, and sound becomes visual, it turns almost animated, with early cgi jumping into frame, with large glowing eyes, statues turning heads, slow motion glass shattering, and even bed posts coming to life and trapping a terrified Nell. They even have an otherwise creepy painting come to life, completely diminishing any creepy power that painting had early on.

It's very telling that the film's scariest scenes involved practical effects and real world situations. Liam Neeson ascending a spiral staircase which is slowly falling apart is a masterful one. Owen Wilson trying to smash through the gate with a car and a leaking gas is another. I doubt many will look back on this film and say "that scene where a giant green animated hand grabbed Liam Neeson was so scary".

De Bont has since departed from Hollywood, citing studio interference ruining the art. Speaking of Hollywood horror, he's absolutely right. Less is more, and studios by and large don't know dick about how to create a horror with a lasting legacy, hence why indie horrors and cult filmmakers are the ones who thrive nowadays.

As for the Bad Cinema Demon, he's still lurking around the haunted halls of Hollywood, looking for  next big budget director to sink its talons into, tearing away at hopes, dreams, millions of dollars, and cred of reputable performers.

Now THAT is a scary story.