REVIEW: Stay Out Of The Attic

Stay Out Of The Attic. Let's keep going. Stay out of the house. Stay out of this movie. Do literally anything else. You're welcome.

Oy, this movie is a big misfire. I normally like to try to work in some good with the bad, but this is a challenge.

First, I like the idea of the plot. A former nazi continuing on heinous experiments in a residential neighborhood could be a great movie. This unfortunately, is not it. If you're a nazi housing mutated experiments, perhaps not hire movers to move your stuff? Or not keep the experiments in the house before hiring them? Or how about not moving?

There are some ok bloody scenes, and I dug a fair amount of the music. OK, that's sufficient.

The biggest problem here is the acting. It's as though they filmed a dress rehearsal and just kept it as the film. It's not so much that the actors suck, but the writing is so abysmal, I'd be hard pressed to find someone who could deliver these adequately. There are actual scenes where the lead actor is literally changing his demeanor multiple times in a standard conversation, almost as though he's trying to find the appropriate note to hit. Where was the editing with this? 

The ham is so heavy here, it borders on horror parody. 

The direction is really strange too. The general tone is a People Under The Stairs creepy house vibe, and yet the frenetic opening credits look like something out of a metal video. The flip flopping with the main characters of random intensity and Lifetime movie tenderness is laughable.

Our villain Mueller (Michael Flynn) clearly tries his best to bring life to his character, but mostly comes off stiff, especially when he's clearly not comfortable wearing the costume. 

The reveal as to who he really is comes off as insulting, if only for the fact that it should have made for a better movie. 

The good folks at Second Chance Movers really need a second chance movie.